Article 9
I’m seriously considering quitting my current job and taking up a position as a rapper. I think I’d be great, I have the ‘tude, the slammin’ body and my very own lingo. I neeeeeeed to be Snoop Dogg....
View Articlewe talk
If I’m left to my own devices for too long, I end up making bum jokes and losing friends. This week I was chatting to a very glamorous girl – there she was in her stilettos, her red, flattering Carla...
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archaeology
I don’t have any grey hairs, an unexpected beard or a cat named Boots, but I have definitely become an old woman. A series of first world problems broke into my life in May and swiped motivation,...
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elephant
Reasons you could mistake me for a huge conservative: – The first time I could vote, at a local council election, I voted for Family First because I thought their name sounded sweet. – I can recite...
View Articlefour walls
Recently recounting getting our nephew to sleep while he stayed over. Me: I don’t mind cuddling him during the tantrums. Because crying actually makes you really exhausted. You know, like when you cry...
View ArticleFree burrito
J-man likes to tell people he never gets hit on anymore because he “reeks of marriage”. I wouldn’t say he reeks of marriage: he is a dude who regularly stays out late without me (I like bed better than...
View Articlelet’s get physical
The woman running the antenatal class was totally obsessed with pelvic floor exercises. A physiotherapist, she even had an ultrasound machine set up in her home and subjected her teenage daughter to...
View Articlelabour pains II
The sign on the physiotherapist’s door said: “Knock ONCE and wait PATIENTLY”. The physio ushered us into her office, while still treating a pregnant woman for problems she probably didn’t want to share...
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labour pains: the finale
Exactly a week after Snorky was due, on September 21, this is what happened: 4.37am – I wake to painful cramps that pulse through my belly at regular intervals. I wait a moment before I wake J-man...
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